Who's Not in the Room—and Why It Matters
Here's a challenging thought: look around your rehearsal room next week and ask yourself, who's missing?
We know who's there: our loyal tenors, our stalwart basses and the familiar faces who faithfully turn up week after week.
But what about the men who never walk through the door? Or those who came once... and never returned?
It's easy to focus on the members we have and forget that every empty chair has a story.
Some don't have the time, of course. But for others, perhaps they didn't quite feel they belonged. Perhaps they couldn't see where they fitted in. Or perhaps they gave it a try and decided it simply wasn't for them.
These are questions worth reflecting on because they're all things we can influence as choir leaders and members.
Ask yourself:
How easy is it for new members to feel part of the choir from the very beginning?
Do our rehearsals leave people feeling energised, inspired and looking forward to next week?
Are we striking the right balance between respecting tradition and embracing fresh ideas?
We spend a great deal of time trying to recruit more men.
Perhaps we should spend just as much time asking why some don't stay.
The men who quietly drift away may have the most valuable insights of all. They're not angry. They're not disruptive. They simply disappear — and with them goes an opportunity to learn, adapt and grow.
If we want stronger, more sustainable choirs, we need to start listening to the silences.
